Friday, April 06, 2007

BLOG'S GONNA BE DEAD

I'm planning to stop blogging until i feel like it again...
Until then here's one more post to just help me express how i feel towards stuff nowadays...

I’ve been very confused nowadays, schoolwork wise and friendship wise.

Schoolwork wise’s because my grades are slipping drastically. Math’s still the best that’s my ONLY consolation but all other subs are dropping. Lit from A1 to B4, Science from A1 to A2 and Chinese to B4. These are gonna affect me greatly for overalls. I hope that OM is counted. We’ll definitely score very high. Haiz… everybody tells me that I’m good but if I don’t live up to my own standards what good am I? I failed the campus superstar competition FIRST round auditions and have recently heard that some people in choir don’t deserve to make it. Then what does that make me? What am I then? Have all the compliments about singing been just a big fat lie? My math is slipping as well. My speed is halved though my accuracy is still fine. I really feel very losery these days.

Friendship wise’s because I don’t really get to talk to the SY people anymore. They seem to be so caught up with school work. Because of school work and stuff we have to meet during recess and after school, not allowing us to have time to talk. Occasionally we do talk, but most of the time, we don’t get to, only before choir but that fact alone makes me feel like just another choir friend to them, those that you’ll just talk to when you actually meet them. TMM on the other hand is really falling apart, what happened to “no we will no be separated, our friendship will still remain strong”? I used to be happy just watching them go for recess together having laughs, talking about sensitive topics but now because of class work because of occasional stuff that cannot be changed, most of the things are falling apart. I’m glad that we have OM to keep it that way rather than the situation going worse. Though it may seem like a super big chore sometimes but we do spend time together keeping us together, but now it seems to tear us apart. I just don’t understand why things HAVE to change I can’t cope with these things. People around me now are so different from me, shopping everyday, talking about boys, acting bimbo, I feel like an alien in this class. Though when it comes to class spirit I feel very proud of my class but sometimes I really wonder, do I really belong here? Or am I just some nerd coming to the coolest class in the world? I hope things will change for the better, whenever I look towards the negative things will turn out for the worst, explains my negativity. Even though we are in different classes can we remain friends? Can things NOT come to an end? Can we stay together for many years to come? I think we’re all swaying to the ‘no’ side for all questions…

Signing Out,
ME

posted by andrea2134 @ 4/06/2007 11:34:00 PM